I.M. Closed 21 Oct 2020
Usually the 'I am closed' means that my business is closed. Not many people would say about themselves that they are closed. It could mean not being willing or able to share about certain issues or my past.
Why should I shut off my past? It is a part of me. It may define who I am.
1. Certain interactions with people ended with pain or (mutual) offense. My friend may have disappointed me.
2. I may have grown up or lived in unpleasant circumstances. I may have bad memories.
3. I may have disappointed myself with certain deeds. Frequently it is about words which I have spoken. In a couple of instances I may have denied a person some 'justice'. The product I delivered to a customer may have lacked reasonable quality.
Sometimes it is about my actions or performance. By times others have disappointed me. And I never, never, never want to talk about it again.
Some part of my being has been declared 'dead'. Where it is about myself. I am not pleased with 'unfinished business'. I may need healing. I like good relationships with people around. ... As far as it depends on me! That is easily said. The truth is however that in certain issues I feel 'closed'.
All-knowing God, I seek you. I ask you to support me with sorting out things from my past which still hinder me. I have forgotten so many details. I have misinterpreted and misjudged many 'innocent' actions from my fellow people. I pray for an open mind and a trusting heart. Please give me a fresh love for persons who have hurt me. Help me to open up broken and damaged relationships.