Will This Community Work For Me? 28 May 2022
Why should a certain community work for me? Why would I change my life and engage into an uncertain new life? Those are important questions. Becoming member of a community and leaving behind a previous life-style, takes courage. Any normal person will feel resistance. I know my present life. Can I trust the coming life?
How would I know my fears? I am ashamed of my fears. There are three options:
1) I can run away. Perhaps I first may hit the things I fear. The flight scenario. It is easy to criticize. No organization is perfect.
2) I can stand paralyzed. I face the opportunity. I keep quiet and at distance. My fear will keep me at distance forever.
3) I can look my fears in the eyes. First I may discover the beauty of my fears. Usually fears do have important reasons. Nothing to be ashamed about. The new life as well offers attracting opportunities. When I do not conquer my fears, I will never find peace with myself and with the others.
At least I realize that I have fears.
Can I trust this Community?
Can I trust myself? I only and only can trust myself when I do not run away when troubles occur. When I courageously try. I can only trust myself when failure is an acceptable outcome.
Total failure is a still an easy option. Even when I would end up poor, sick, humiliated, forgotten or dead. I hope that I will not end blaming all the others. I am very willing to realize that those scenarios are unlikely and unrealistic. Even then, I would be a hero. I have tried!
The big question is if I have the courage to face the real life. Battling, winning or loosing, and not quitting. Will I be a successful peacemaker and contributor?
Now it appears to me that the question is no more if 'this community will work for me', but 'Am I willing to work and live for this community?'
My Deepest Fear
WE are not willing to engage in the battle as a team or as brothers and sisters. We avoid stress and pain. We are not willing to let God reign.
For me as a person: 'I am the king and I am in control. Even when it hurts myself or others. I am a slave of my fears.'
Jesus, call me forward.