Reflection on My Family Needs. 11 May 2022
Yesterday evening, I had a coaching session with a clear request. I desired to learn to communicate more effective. It was clear that I as well needed to find a place to practice. We ended up in a huge discussion on what was required for a parish to grow.
I count that as my failure. I blew up a 'simple talk' to a 'mess of big problems'. Actually the reason for my coaching request. We ended up being home very late (9:30 pm) for a meal with our house mates.
I could have brought back the discussion to the desired subject. I failed.
How did we End
My candidate coach ended with expressing that he could not do the coaching. He invited me for meetings of his personal Catholic Movement. Both of us concluded that in all the Netherlands we did not know a place where I could be coached and do the needed practical training.
On global level, I believe that it is very hard to find (Catholic) places where believers can develop their talents and gifts and where they can work on conversion of habits causing troubles in their life.
In my opinion, this alone shows the huge need for communities where personal growth and development are facilitated.
The busy life style of a modern (Dutch) family and individualism cause huge resistance against formation of Catholic Community.
There is serious refusal (and difficulty) to build Christian community. It is easy enough to find plenty of great excuses and objections. The resistance however expresses as well the refusal for serious personal growth in Christian maturity and service.
Typically the local community disappoints and hurts. It is like with a long term relationship. Sooner or later arguments and difficulties stir up annoyances. Those are frequently not addressed properly. We may avoid to deal with conflicts, because there are no bad consequences with the lack of performance. (There are ... but no one complains).
Learning to be a family and member of a community needs training and coaching: reason for being part of a community.
Connecting to a community affects all family members. Therefor each member of a family needs appropriate attention and communication to grow towards and into a community.