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I.M. Mean 24 May 2021

The word 'mean' is a lot more interesting than I thought. It has a wide range of meanings. It is used as verb, adverb and as a noun. A dictionary can better explain it to you than I can do. Thus to know what just the word mean means will need a context, a story around.

Being Mean

When I am mean, I intend to hurt someone else. It is unkind and not loving. Usually I act in such a way to defend or protect myself.
Most people are not willing to admit that by times they can be mean, misguiding or hurting others. Even pretty nice people can't avoid being mean once in a while.
A brief list (as found in 'Feeling Good Together') of frequently used unloving behaviour in relationships is:

  • Power and Control. I am the master or smarter, and you shall know it.
  • Revenge. You did hurt me, and now it is my turn.
  • Justice and Fairness. It is my right to do this, even when it hurts you.
  • Narcissism. I am more important than you.
  • Pride and Shame. I can not see or admit the truth even when I deceive you.
  • Scapegoating. When someone else is already guilty, no-one will see what I did wrong.
  • Truth. I am right and you shall know it.
  • Blame. It is someone else's fault.
  • Self-pity. And therefore there is no need that I take responsibility. I withdraw.
  • Anger and Bitterness. Unforgiveness blocks a loving relationship.
  • Competition. I forget fair rules.
  • Hidden Agenda. I do not show you what my true intention is.
You see, there is a great variety of motives for me to be mean. Yes, by times I am plainly mean and acting unfriendly.


Jesus, please teach me to honour and respect all my neighbours.


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