I.M. Longing 15 May 2021
The love of money is the root of all evil. Would I have a desire for money? I can't deny it. Money is a reward for labour. With money one can buy many things. The problem is perhaps that I make it my money. I own it. I withhold it from others. It is immovable, useless to bring forth life.
I just listened to a pod-cast on empathy. A retired successful psychiatrist had been diagnosed with a mortal lung cancer. She told about her life-in-depression:
- I am no more certain about a life after dead.
- I have wasted my life with my alcohol addiction.
- I never had a relationship.
- I never met the expectations of my mother. I was never good enough.
Facing death she expressed what she had longed for. And it was not money.
What are my longings? Relationship ranks very high. A better society where I do not have to criticize others. Ai, I expect to live with perfect people. That is a bit silly. It is the beauty of writing that it mirrors some of my thinking.
What would be my deepest longing? Perhaps not to have too many longings.
Father God, teach me making you as my first longing.