I.M. Used 30 Mar 2022
Items used in the old times hardly have any meaningful usage in the modern time.
It does not feel good to be used by someone else. That may feel like abuse. It already feels better to be used for something good. I would like my life to be used by and for God. It however looks like that I am using my life for myself.
I may have all kind of good ideas. Unfortunately, I frequently wait for others to act on my 'good' ideas. I excuse myself at least on a regular basis. Said in different words, I abuse my life with games, procrastination and enjoying. I struggle with realizing my own goals.
At a certain point I need to rebel against abusing or hindering 'authorities'. I am responsible for my own life. My father is not. The Mayor of my city is not. And also God is not.
The only option is working on what I like to see happening around me. I need to learn to carry out plans. Failures are a part of executing plans. And my failures can bring forth much joy and learning experience.
Holy Spirit, guide me in execution of plans to realize my dreams. Give healthy joy with failures. I ask for strength to deal with troubles I cause with my 'rebellion'.