I.M. Negative 17 Jun 2021
The younger ones may not be familiar with the 'negative' film used in photo camera's. The captured image was a negative, inverted in brightness. On its turn the negatives were used to print normal 'positive' images, called photos.
Similarly, the things I complain about tell a lot about who I am.
My colleague tells long stories about simple things. After a little while I already get his point. But he continues to elaborate and I get annoyed and frustrated.
Why do I get so annoyed? It is hard to interrupt him. I can't respond.
Yes, I struggle with the endless talking of others. And yet, what I hate in my colleague is frequently my own behaviour. I am however not aware of that.
What I was thinking about my colleague is gravely distorted. I was annoyed with him. I over-responded in my thinking:
The story will never end. Sure enough it will end. Actually, I am resistant to listen till the end.
I expect that he will come with useless details. That is a 'future telling'. Most probably the details to come may be relevant and more interesting.
I can't interrupt him. Actually I only want to interrupt rudely. I am not willing to affirm my colleague, nor to see his struggle or emotion. I am not interested to inquire with interest to more of his story. And I assume that my colleague felt my impatience from my body language.
I was thinking negative on my colleague. And actually, I was the one who was rude and not accommodating.
Jesus Christ, help me to learn from my negative emotions.