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I.M. Nagged 12 Jun 2021

Nagging is to annoy by repeated complaining, scolding. Please notice the repeated. It sounds human and familiar. It hurts.

Two Parties

Nagging is an issue in relationships. The picture shows two loud talking persons not having ears at all. They show however pretty defensive. When I am one of the two, then I am a part of the problem.

My Part

I am accusing and hurting my partner. I am not listening. I repeat my behaviour.


Things may change when I listen. And listening in a conflict may work in little steps:
1) I find some truth in what my partner says. And I tell him or her that she is right with some specific items.
2) I may express empathy with my opponent.
3) I may express what I think my partner feels with our conflict or problem.
4) I may express how I feel in a kind and friendly way. My friend should be able to understand me and what bothers me.
5) I can invite the other party to share more.

It Sounds Easy

But it is hard. It needs exercise. First I can practice writing such responses on paper. I can consider them and improve them. Second, it really helps to practice such responses in a role play. And third, I need to attempt improved behaviour in practical situations. And with the pressures, I may fail.
And still with practicing, perhaps a lot, I make progress and I will begin to feel more in control.

What should I say more? "Happy quarreling", perhaps.


Father God, thank you for other persons around. Teach me how to bless my enemies.

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