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Learn to Pray: Block 20 June 2020
The road to reconciliation is a tough road. It appears easy to say: 'I am sorry'. Too often, it never happens.
For any healthy community it is vital that the members learn and practice reconciliation.
Unawareness is the easier one. There are variations: insensitivity, indifference, blocked by my own pain, lack of historical knowledge. Especially in family and group (church!) relationships it is healthy to have a serious interest in what happened before. Our past defines partly our future. We can ask the Holy Spirit to open our minds for things in need for reconciliation, that is to undo separation.
Unwillingness can occur with both parties.
First, excuses. It was not that bad. He has deserved it. He has also hurt me. We can learn to step over simple excuses and to do what brings freedom.
Second, unwillingness to pay the price. If I have stolen, I may need to restore the loot. When I have offended against a law, I must be willing to take the punishment or sentence.
Third, stuck in character weaknesses. The usual ones are pride, fear, shame, jealousy. Lack of training and practice. There is an exception. If a person is seriously wounded or broken, that needs patience. Such person may be - temporarily - unable to reconcile.
Fourth, some people or groups prefer a victim role. It is easier to be stuck in my misery than to take responsibility for a healthy relationship. If I take responsibility, I may need to make efforts for the normal life. And I may be lazy.
Prayer and Reconciliation
If I live knowingly with serious relationship conflicts, God first wants me to reconcile before I come to worship Him. If I do not forgive others, it is much harder to receive forgiveness. God is however loving and not legalistic or childish. Remark: without a God, similar principles are already at work in our nature. My choices affect others in my community.
Block before Entrance.