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I.M. Outnumbered 29 Jul 2021

Usually the word outnumbered is used when there are too many enemies in a battle. Now one single enemy can already block an army. The enemies in my mind are especially powerful. Among the worst are 'self defeating beliefs'. And usually those beliefs are unconscious.

Only

I only can be happy if everyone likes me. Even if you replace the everyone by someone, it is still a big problem. When this person does not approve me, I will be forever unhappy. It is a lie. But as long as I believe it, I may act mysteriously foolish. I am complying to others. I don't even understand why I make it so hard for myself.

I am only good if I never fail in something. When one of my projects fails, everyone will think I am an idiot, a total failure. I will feel enormously pressured to perform. I will be always afraid that I might fail. I will never have rest and peace. I am controlling.

I am only OK when I am smart. I should know everything. I am critical. I act superior. I am protecting myself.

Conditional

Actually those beliefs hinder me. I can never totally meet my own silent requirements. I will be never good enough. I will be never really happy, etc.

Stop

Why believing something which is not even true? I can be happy with little. The solution is that I need to break with my unfortunate and unpleasant beliefs. That is however frightening. I have to give up something, which I believe(d?) that it is or would be required for my well being. And I need to learn new behavior to replace my present habits. That will be the hardest part, taking a lot of patient practice. Giving up my faulty belief, makes a change possible.

Prayer

Come Holy Spirit, talk to me about my self defeating beliefs. I ask for strength and wisdom. Thank you Jesus, for your Spirit.