Anxious or Depressed? Free coaching: firstname.lastname@example.org
I.M. Foolish 9 Jan 2021
No-one likes to be foolish. And still by times my behaviour is not smart. Usually I make unwise decisions when I ignore what my words or deeds may mean to others. I only or mainly see my own opinion, my own anger or disappointment.
There is always some place for my humanity. I do not require myself to be always perfect or faultless. When I offend or hurt others, it never produces good fruits.
Some saints describe staircases in holiness or perfectness of character. Similarly I can see growth in overcoming negative responses. It is a path of learning.
Assume someone is unkind to me and I respond:
1) I revenge and hurt the other person physically. (Hitting, fighting)
2) Slightly 'better' is to revenge and hurt the person with threats to what I will do to that person.
3) Still less damage is done with retorting with angry accusations about faults in the other party.
4) A good step better is expressing emotionally how angry or disappointed I am because of what has happened.
5) Having 'mastered' phase 4, I may learn to express politely what emotions I feel as a result of specific (small) things how the other party has acted or still acts.
6) Learning to listen carefully to the other party.
7) Etc. etc.
Some Disordered Responses
Human beings learn and practice defensive behaviour. And when the mind is overloaded (perhaps psychologically) with fears for punishment or rejection a few strange things may happen with a person:
1) I may step into excuses and lies. I disappoint and hurt myself even more. It builds up shame.
2) I may come up with silly stories to limit the talking time of my 'accuser'. I may want to stop listening to my accuser or run away. Very 'interesting' is when I just try to confuse my accuser. The very sad side effect is that I begin to believe and defend my own lies as well. Thus I myself get confused too. Confusion is a short term escape.
Foolishness of God
The foolishness of God may be called suffering and enduring what needs to be faced. Saint Paul Calls the gospel of peace the foolishness of God. It sets free.
Father God, please teach me your foolishness instead of my own foolishness. And please forgive me where I hurt others and myself.