I.M. Guilty 17 Feb 2021
From the beginning of life there are commandments. Thou shalt not ... and you name it. We are warned against so many things.
There is good and meaningful advice. There is advice which I never wanted to hear. Some counsel is silly or hindering progress in life.
Over the years I acquired a lot of knowledge on what I should not do. Such instructions or commandments are easy to violate. I can make a mistake. I can forget or ignore them. I can deliberately choose that I need to do a forbidden thing. And by times it is simply wise and needed to do a forbidden act.
What I know is that doing something forbidden leaves guilt. I feel bad. I may feel ashamed. I may be afraid for a penalty.
Trust in Life
I need to trust life. I need to believe that I can deal with life. It is not possible to respect all the advice and commandments I am given. By times things go wrong. Sometimes I may be punished. That is part of my life. Usually I will be treated fair and proportional to what damage I did.
I am not perfect. I am not supposed to be faultless and blameless. I am supposed to make some faults in life. I am expected to break a rule when it is needed to do so. I am however responsible and accountable. There may be consequences. I need to be willing to accept the consequences of transgressing rules. That is a part of trusting that I can have a meaningful life. I need courage to move forward.
For clarity, I do not recommend to break rules without a good reason. It may be unwise to ignore solid counsel.
When I feel guilty, usually I did cause some damage. My emotion also could be a fear for punishment.
I can take responsibility and at least be honest about my contribution in what happened. When I bring the thing I feel guilty about into the light, that helps a lot. I can face others.
When I caused damage, I have the option to figure out if I can or need to contribute in some repair. Such a repair may be costly. It may however help to heal my guilt and to regain the trust of others.
Jesus Christ, help me to deal with my guilty emotions. Holy Spirit, guide me in taking hard decisions, especially where I need to break rules. Father God, guide and protect me with all decision making. I ask for a childlike trust life.