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I.M. Fake 20 Dec 2020

I was surprised reading the 'urbandictionary.com' definition of 'to be fake':
People who show themselves different from what they actually are. They do so to gain friends. They aim being more popular.
They will act like your friend. But actually they are back stabbers, talking behind your back, saying mean things about you.

In Other Words

It is remarkable that when I hide my true self, I call forth an atmosphere of deceit. And I even begin to blame others.

Accepting My Self

I am in need of accepting and admitting who I really am. I am a needy person. I have suffered pain. I suffer and have suffered from fear.
The one I like to imitate, Jesus Christ - my God, is the man of suffering. He is as well the man of the resurrection and eternal life. My 'old man' needs to die. The 'new man' needs to rise.

New Life

I need to face who I am. The truth. Especially about what I am hiding. I need to become transparent and honest about myself.
I am selfish. I am afraid of pain, sickness and disappointment. I am afraid of making faults. I am a coward by times.
The image can't be complete with hiding the good things. Strange, strange, strange: I am more ashamed of my positive characteristics than of the bad ones. I do not like to boast. Saint Paul has a solution: if I boast, I like to boast in him who made me free: Jesus Christ. He gave me a meaningful and valuable life. I thank God for the desire to 'run the race' and for all the dreams in my heart.

Prayer

Jesus, my all-in-all, only in you I am secure. Without you I would be lost. You are however with me. God is with us: Emmanuel. I thank my God, Jesus Christ my saviour.

Comment

With accepting my true self, I begin a new life. It may hurt. It gives hope. Not accepting the truth is rejecting life.