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I.M. Envious 9 Dec 2020
If you allow me, I'd like to start with a question: "What is the difference between individualistic and envious?"
Individualistic is widely accepted, the modern standard. Envious speaks about a hate for others. Is individualistic not as well a hate, fear or disrespect for others? It helps to value contributions of team members.
Envy is a very active emotion. It's energy is personal, directed to humans. Accumulated hatred may explode and hurt someone who actually deserves my respect. Envy makes enemies.
The area where I am sensitive for envious thoughts is where others around are given responsibilities which I would like to have. It tells about my desire to be in leadership. Perhaps I lack some management skills. Management is not being creative, but caring for all that needs to be cared for. It is maintaining the business. Both leadership and management require communication skills.
I can do it in case of emergency.
Where I fail most is in incorporating contributions of others over a longer time. I end up disappointed and annoyed, perhaps envious about what could have been.
Dear Jesus, by times I am envious about things which are not (yet) my strength, but which I am interested in. Help me to trust and accept the ones to which my envy is directed. They are my models.