I.M. Poisoned 26 Aug 2021
Over the years I am learning that what poisons me most of all, are my own thoughts. St. Paul already said that we are not fighting against flesh and blood. Among the most poisonous things in the world, are my heart and mind, the paces where I make decisions.
I just name some: anger, bitterness, jealousy, pride, fear and shame. I add two more: depression and anxiety. I am giving up peace, love, and joy in my life. I am talking about my emotional side. I am vulnerable in this place.
And still even here, I am thinking wrong. Even those inconvenient emotions tell plenty of good and great things about myself. And I refuse to believe that they are only negative.
Triggered by my emotions and vice versa, I have utterly distorted, poisoned, unpleasant thoughts. I can fight those effectively by writing them on a paper. Then I can start to discern what is poisoned in those thoughts. E.g. Blaming and labeling myself and others. Exaggerating or forgetting many other good aspects about myself and others.
When I begin to see that my emotions are not just negative, I can battle more easy the poison which takes away my joy and pleasure in life.
Father God, teach me joy and truth in love.