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Reflection on God Invites. 29 Apr 2022

As I struggle with establishing "community" in my life, I am writing Daily Mood Logs (DML). A DML is a reflective method to reduce anxieties and stress related to specific events in the here and now. It clarifies my annoyances and negative thoughts.
It is very personal and it involves specific persons. Therefor it would be very impolite and rude to publish my experiences and thoughts. First of all because many of my thoughts are exaggerations. What I can do and will do is writing some lessons that I learned from my reflection. For today I focus on the question if my thoughts may be inspired by God.

Assuming and not Expressing

Some assumptions I make are:
I expect that people understand what I mean with 'community'.
I never ask people if they believe that God wants me to build community.
I never ask others if they believe that they may be called to build community. I may even assume that all catholics are called to build community.

How do I feel?

With the failure or refusal of others to discern my calling to 'build community':
I feel unhappy, inadequate and defective with communicating, discouraged, stuck and thwarted, resentful and annoyed. I am perhaps angry with God, for He should act on my behalf.

I Learned

I end up with blaming myself, others and God.
I am assuming quite some things about what others and God may think about my calling.
I could ask others more direct questions about what they believe and think.
I never or very seldom tell the people with whom I talk, how I feel with my lack of success. Instead I come with unfriendly and angry responses.

I display unbelief concerning what God asks me to do. I may act in ways which frustrate good results for my goal.

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