I.M. Vengeful 1 Apr 2022
Supposedly, I should imitate Jesus. Unfortunately by times, I as well imitate some hissing serpent. I am not sure how I got to know the venomous monster. I do however admire it's beauty. For every emotion had both good and bad sides. It is up to me to learn to balance towards the good.
Each person can have or has all possible emotions. In my life, some are more dominant or hindering than others. I need to check my vengeful emotions. My anger stirs up the desire to hurt other persons. I don't like it. I am in a phase of my life where I write about my emotions. I am considering what my so called 'Self Defeating Beliefs' are. Those result in unfriendly thoughts and emotions. First of all, I suffer from them. Second, I hurt others whit my vengeful thoughts.
I may belief that 'Alone I am miserable' and that 'I should avoid anger at all cost' (Thanks to David Burns.) What is wrong with such thoughts. The 'I should' is clearly unrealistic and perhaps even unwanted. Incidentally and for some good reason, I should be angry and defend myself or someone else. The 'alone I will be miserable' clearly is a lie. I perhaps desire the approval of others. I submit my own 'identity' to please others. ... And no wonder, I feel bad with such beliefs. It hurts. And I may respond vengeful.
Holy Spirit, show me my venomous Self Defeating Beliefs.