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I.M. Irresponsible 20 Apr 2021

Time for some Rock'n Roll. Let me gain some courage. Half a bottle of whiskey would do. I am feeling good. I like to drive home. Since I do not own a car I have to borrow one. More worldly, I steal a car. It is simple. You can see it done in most movies. I am in a very speedy mood. I can drive faster than anyone else. It is not even my own car.
The next thing I remember is at the location of Saint Peter's gate.

Saint Peter

It turns out that saint Peter is a very kind man. He is like Jesus himself. I relax.
"Did you enjoy the whiskey?", he asks friendly.
"Yes", I reply, groaning from an intense headache.
Saint Peter offers me some paracetamol. And in a little while I feel better.
I ask, "What happened to me? I can't remember."
"Would you like to remember?", I am asked.
"May be not.", I hear myself whispering.
"I do understand.", is the kind reply, "What shall we do with you? Because without a memory you will be nothing in heaven."

Shame

Little by little an intense shame overflows me.
"Can I redo my last day?", I try.
The answer is a kind, "No, what has been done is done."
Some memories start coming back.
"Can I go back to say a sorry and repay the damage I did?"
"No you can't.", is the simple response.
"It was an accident", I try, "I did not not do it on purpose."
"I know.", Saint Peter agrees.

Deep

How deep do I have to sink before I take responsibility? I only have one life.

Prayer

Jesus, if you want to redeem me, come now. Please guide me into a meaningful life.