I.M. Intoxicated 10 Apr 2021
Some mushrooms are intoxicated. They are not suitable for food. Certain kind of snakes do defend themselves with venom. It are not just snakes who can respond toxic. I can do it as well. Some of my words may spoil the day of other persons. And they on their turn may hurt others. Toxic responses tend to spread a venom.
Words of hate. Words of anger. Words of animosity. I like to hurt even myself. I spread venom by my attitude, words and when I do not control myself I can hurt others physically. The last form is the worst. It is humiliating.
All kind of reasons, from small to intense, could lower the shields that help me to manage my weapons.
Drugs and Alcohol are among the worst. The intense need for a drugs may make me a thief or deceiver. The toxic quality of alcoholic drinks may trigger unchecked anger.
Abuse of power may spread a venom in the atmosphere around.
My wounded ego and emotions do have a venomous effect on me. I develop very strange and unrealistic illusions. That even might cause production of certain 'venoms' in the mind. And I become very much vulnerable for unkind responses to my neighbours.
Count till 10 is far to short for me. Postponing responses to hurting events certainly is wise. I should be aware that under such circumstances a venom is working in me. And I can not always control it.
I need to reflect and meditate on the correctness of my venomous emotional thoughts. This requires a very serious effort with a notebook containing my explorations. It needs to be a regular practice. Simply because in this imperfect world there are too many intoxicating events.
Jesus, my saviour, teach me how to deal in love with poisonous experiences in life. Please be the healer of my wounds.