I.M. Abused 3 Oct 2020

To abuse is the misuse or the improper use of something. That something could be sex, alcohol, drugs, power and many more things. All those things are bad. Usually we understand easily why it is bad.

A more subtle form of abuse is emotional abuse or ab-using people who depend on the abuser. The victims could be you and me. The actors are usually nearby. Parents, brothers and sisters and persons in authority like bosses, teachers or spiritual leaders. Typically the abuser 'controls' the victim by power, fear and shame. If you do not comply to my instruction or disclose what we did, you will be severely punished or lose your job or I will kill you. They are just examples. In relationships the withdrawal of love/acceptance or daily needs may be the threat of the abuser.

How does it feel?

Easy enough, if I do something shameful, I will feel ashamed and afraid that it may be discovered. When I am abused (even when forced or deceived) I will feel guilty, bad and dirty. My self-worth is stolen. I have complied in doing something bad. My freedom has been stolen. I may believe that I have no more a meaningful future. In bad cases, the victim may punish him or herself. He or she may withdraw from relationships.

What to do?

Seek help at a safe place, where the listener believes and understands what you go through. If you are not understood or believed, seek another place. Yes the abuser may suffer from what you reveal. But someone who has been abused, needs support ... to survive and to find help to hopefully heal and recover.

Think: there is hardly a person on earth who has never been abused. You are not the only victim. Where power is abused to control people, a halt needs to be forced. Unless you like to remain a victim forever.

Prayer

Father God, I start to pray for the abusers. Often they have been abused themselves as well. Help them to understand what abuse is. Abuse happens where love is left out. Abusers may condemn themselves deep in their heart. I pray for wisdom, love and justice for them and that they may seek help.
Father God, I pray for the victims for courage to seek help. Help them to seek escape without revenge. Guide them into mature healthy responses. Where severe hurt has been done, I ask for adequate professional help.
Father God, help all those who seek shortcuts in life which damage themselves and others. Prevent us from becoming abusers ourselves.

abused

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