I.M. Hurt 15 Mar 2021
Having hurt my back causes me to walk bended. When my hand is hurt I avoid to use it. When I am hurt, some part of me becomes dysfunctional.
When a friend has hurt me, it damages the relationship. Broken trust results in distant behaviour.
When I avoid normal behaviour it is a sign of pain. Unfortunately all human beings have painful experiences. No-one is exempted. What am I avoiding?
Typically risks to get hurt again in a similar situation. And avoiding has grown into a habit.
Some small examples: touching hot things, crossing over busy roads, asking help to others, being afraid of friendships, talking to strangers, defending my own position.
Another side effect of pain is that I respond defensive. 'Do not touch me!', 'I do not like to talk to you.', 'I will avoid to take risks for I am fearful', 'When you touch me, I will hit you.'.
And I get used to my defensive responses. They are already normal for me.
No normal person likes to be hurt. Unfortunately we get used to the remaining character deformation resulting from the painful experiences. There are no easy or quick fixes.
Because I am unaware of my strange habits, I may ask others where I am defensive or controlling. They are my pain avoiding responses.
1) Where am I passive (in cases where I should act)?
2) Where do I keep distance (in cases where I should connect)?
3) Where am I needless critical?
4) Where am I arrogant (instead of open)?
5) Where am I too perfectionistic?
I should prepare myself for some painful responses. I need to listen without defense.
Come Holy Spirit, please inspire some people to talk to me about my dysfunctional moments. Jesus I ask you for courage to listen.