I.M. Humbled 12 Mar 2021
A letter more than yesterday. A quite different meaning: brought down. And that is not the same as being humiliated. No-one should be humiliated. When I am however humbly faced with a painful reality, it may help me.
Years ago my boss explained to me that my performance was concerning. And he was right. I had to face the truth. I may have prayed: Father God bless my boss. And that helped me to patiently face the truth. Yes, I had some angry feelings. I had some excuses in mind. Still my boss was correct. And I knew it.
Fortunately some new tasks with more opportunity to perform were assigned to me. I learned to listen to feedback.
In some matters I need to learn the truth about myself. It is hard to learn when I am successful and very busy. With acting in my strength I also introduce some unnoticed side effects. I may hurt some other persons. My way of working may produce vulnerabilities. I may introduce circumstances which cause problems. I am not perfect.
In some cases I need to be confronted with my shadow sides. When I learn about my 'faults' I may feel silly, humbled. Is that really me? Sure I can deny it or come with excuses.
When I am willing to let myself be humbled, there are more opportunities to get to know myself better. Usually I do have a degree of blindness for my weaknesses. It is tough to accept them. It takes humility and grace with myself.
Father God, I allow you to treat me just as it pleases you. Jesus, help me to acknowledge where I lack effectiveness.