PSALM 139 - Intimately Known 20 Mar 2020
David desired to be known by God. Being honest, often I am afraid to be known. Someone could become jealous on me. I might be ashamed for a few things. What hinders me most is however fear. The fear of rejection. Even when I realise that my fears are greatly exaggerated, I am still fearful.
I know and I know that when I bring my "fears" in the light, that is making them known to others, some shame will leave me. God already knows it all. I myself am not enough aware of issues in my mind and heart that hinder me to live effective and joyful.
Enemies of Transparency
In verse 19-22 David speaks about enemies. This must have a meaning in the context of the psalm . What could those enemies be? May I introduce to some candidates:
1. Lying spirits. Thoughts which are simply not true. Thoughts which are in conflict with the love of God. And I am aware that those are not good thoughts.
2. Unbelief. Where I can not accept that God cares for me.
3. Ignorance. Where I refuse to know the truth about myself. It really takes courage to know the self. And it takes even more strength to take responsibility.
David hates such enemies. And so should do I.
Verse 23 and 24 say:
God, examine me and know my heart, test me and know my concerns. Make sure that I am not on my way to ruin.
1 [For the choirmaster. Of David. Psalm]
Yahweh, you examine me and know me,
2 you know when I sit, when I rise,
you understand my thoughts from afar.
3 You watch when I walk or lie down,
you know every detail of my conduct.
4 A word is not yet on my tongue before you,
Yahweh, know all about it.
5 You fence me in, behind and in front,
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such amazing knowledge is beyond me,
a height to which I cannot attain.
7 Where shall I go to escape your spirit?
Where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I scale the heavens you are there,
if I lie flat in Sheol, there you are.
9 If I speed away on the wings of the dawn,
if I dwell beyond the ocean,
10 even there your hand will be guiding me,
your right hand holding me fast.
11 I will say,
'Let the darkness cover me,
and the night wrap itself around me,'
12 even darkness to you is not dark,
and night is as clear as the day.
13 You created my inmost self,
knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 For so many marvels I thank you; a wonder am I,
and all your works are wonders.
You knew me through and through,
15 my being held no secrets from you,
when I was being formed in secret,
textured in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes could see my embryo.
In your book all my days were inscribed,
every one that was fixed is there.
17 How hard for me to grasp your thoughts,
how many, God, there are!
18 If I count them,
they are more than the grains of sand;
if I come to an end, I am still with you.
19 If only, God, you would kill the wicked!
- Men of violence, keep away from me! -
20 those who speak blasphemously about you,
and take no account of your thoughts.
21 Yahweh, do I not hate those who hate you,
and loathe those who defy you?
22 My hate for them has no limits,
I regard them as my own enemies.
23 God, examine me and know my heart,
test me and know my concerns.
24 Make sure that I am not on my way to ruin,
and guide me on the road of eternity.