I.M. Pacified 6 Aug 2021
Certainly, expressing my anger helps to pacify me. Unfortunately it does not pacify the others around. What are the things which arouse my anger?
I am pacified when my problem is solved ... or when I settle with a certain status. When I am hungry, eating solves my problem.
By times and perhaps frequently my problems are 'irrational'.
Many of my problems begin with incorrect thoughts. And there is a great news. I can correct most of the thoughts which bother me. How?I only can correct my thoughts when I am aware of them. Usually 'bad' thoughts come when my emotional feelings are triggered by one or more events. Assume when someone irritates me. Remember the thought(s) start with a problem I struggle with. It is very important to be specific. Therefore I write down the event that troubled me on a paper. It may be really compact. A few sentences. That is what started it.
Next I consider which emotion I still feel or may have experienced. Again it is not about perfection. Even when I am inaccurate, nothing is lost. But when I write down the emotion with a name, I also realize that it easily could be a pretty normal reaction caused by the described event.
And now ... for each emotion, I listen to the 'bad' thoughts which come in my mind. And once more, I write them on my paper.
That is a great job done. Those are the thoughts which pull me down and make me restless.
Now I have written them, I know them. And those written statements can be tested and evaluated. Usually they will look quite extreme. Did I really think and believe those things? No wonder that I felt so irritated! Being fair, although distorted, those thoughts may express quite some good things about me. Still they are distorted.
Are they really true? Aren't they exaggerated? Will the person I think about really condemn me or act in a certain way? Now I can pacify. I can replace the unfriendly and frustrating thoughts by more pleasant and simpler ones. And I may even see opportunities to improve the situation. I feel better.
Holy Spirit, remind me to regularly take time to write about thoughts which need to be pacified.